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Tuesday, 09 October

02:56

Steams Columbus Day Sale Just Steals All Your Games and Gives You Smallpox The Hard Times

BELLEVUE, Wash.   Online gaming giant Steam announced their annual Columbus Day sale today, honoring the legacy of Christopher Columbus by deleting all of their customers games and giving them smallpox, a move that has drawn mixed reactions from the gaming community.

This year, we really wanted to celebrate Columbus Day in a way that really resonated with gamers, said Steam spokesperson Dana Pearson, from outside a glass room containing the quarantined gaming press. Columbus has a deep history that were proud to share with our community today, and we hope enough of them survive to truly appreciate it.

While Steam execs were excited about the sale, gamers around the world voiced their displeasure with losing all of their games and potentially succumbing to a viral epidemic unseen since the days of Columbus.

I just spent a shitload of money on the summer sale, and now they pull a move like this? said gamer Lucas Herrera, in a Skype call from his hospital bed. I get that theyre going for historical accuracy here, but if I wanted to have all my games taken away and get a shitty disease that was eradicated decades ago, Id just go live with my crazy anti-vaxxer aunt.

Herrera also questioned the need to celebrate Columbus Day at all, given the fact that he sailed in the wrong direction and discovered the wrong country.

I drove the wrong way on the freeway once and almost killed a family in a minivan, where the hells my holiday? he asked between coughing fits. I mean, I like getting the day off of work, but now I have to spend it here, and Im definitely going to die soon. Steam really blew it this time. Shit, I bet Im gonna miss the Black Friday sale, huh?

Despite the hugely negative reaction, Herrera did see one bright spot in the ordeal.

I got really lonely last fall and bought a bunch of Japanese dating simulators, he said. Those are definitely out of my library now, right?

The post Steams Columbus Day Sale Just Steals All Your Games and Gives You Smallpox appeared first on The Hard Times.

02:09

Opinion: White People Need to Stop Celebrating Columbus Day Because Italians Are Not Real Whites The Hard Times

Columbus day has become an incredibly controversial holiday in recent years. Some call it an integral part of our cultural heritage, others a sham holiday celebrating the life of a genocidal colonizer. Somehow in all of the back and forth Americans have lost sight of whats truly important: None of this debate matters because Italians arent real whites to begin with.

Sure, theyd like us to think they are, but the minute they open their Bologna holes its boopity boppa this and spicy meatball I need Alka Seltzer that. Let us never forget that this savage pack of cologne wearing garlic eaters does not represent us.

Sadly, Ive seen many of my fellow pure, Aryan brethren joining arm-in-arm with Italians against the SJWs who want to change Columbus Day to Indigenous People Day. The fact is, we true members of the master race dont have a dog in that fight. Its an Alien v. Predator scenario. Whoever wins, we lose.

This is hardly a new development. Ever since those greasy fusilli fiends started oozing their way into the USA theyve been using their dirty noodle grabbers to pinch and claw their way into white society. But the fact remains, Italians are not white, and no good can ever come from experiencing a culture that is not your own. And Im not going to stand idly by as the lily-white, mayonnaise on white bread-munching soul of America is corrupted.

Italians have spent the last century perfecting the art of appearing to be white. Here are some tips for identifying the Italian sleeper cells in your neighborhood.

Tip 1: Watch their eyes: Particularly, how the moon hits them. Is it like a big pizza pie? That will tell you everything you need to know.

Tip 2: Refer to pasta sauce as gravy in front of them. If they dont immediately correct you and worry that you must be having some kind of stroke, they are probably a filthy Italian.

Tip 3: Check their Loins! Italians are unnaturally horny. Remember, you have the legal right as an American to ask anyone, at anytime, for any reason, how horny they are. Its in the constitution!

TIp 4: Check and see if they are watching The Godfather on their phone. Most Italians cant go more than 20 minutes without watching this film before succumbing to a sickness similar to the bends.

Tip 5: Listen for racial slurs. Italians are notoriously racist.

The Italian menace has wormed its way deep into the fabric of white America, but its not too late to weed them out. I know that together we can restore the purity of our glorious white race or my name isnt Herschel Goldstein.

The post Opinion: White People Need to Stop Celebrating Columbus Day Because Italians Are Not Real Whites appeared first on The Hard Times....

01:43

This is a priceless takedown of Jacob Rees-Moggs historical schtick and very satisfying indeed The Poke

Its a familiar tactic used by Jacob Rees-Mogg and others to appear more in command of the facts than perhaps he might be and here he is doing it again in the Telegraph.

Handel did not need the free movement of people to come to England and compose the Messiah.

Its usually more effective with a bit of Latin thrown in for good measure, Jacob, but iterum felicius, eh?

Except, well, this time it rather unravelled and its very satisfying indeed, thanks to Newsnights policy editor, Chris Cook.

And this is what it says.

An Act for naturalizing Louis Sekeyhaye, George Frederick Handel, and others, later given the short title of Handels Naturalisation Act 1727, was a 1727 Act of the Parliament of Great Britain with the intent of naturalising and granting British citizenship to German-born composer George Frideric Handel and other foreign citizens.

In other words

01:28

Jean-Claude Juncker just owned Theresa Mays Dancing Queen routine and the humiliation is complete The Poke

Just the president of the European Commission mocking Theresa Mays Tory party conference entrance last week when she took to the stage dancing to Abbas Dancing Queen.

What other possible interpretation can there be? This is what people made of it online.

...

01:13

To Kill A Mocking Slur: Resisting The Resistance Daily Discord

Trump mocked the Dems as they hurled anything and everything at the supreme court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, dart board. No surprise, Zano is sticking by the liberal lies. If it wasnt the Democratic Party, then who was it that lied to the public about Kavanaugh being a serial gang-rapist? Im following the evidence, Zano. During prosecutor Rachel Mitchells closing segment, she asked, Ive

01:00

Banksys Girl With Red Balloon Goes POP NewsBiscuit

A leading auction house is now offering an empty picture frame and a bag of shredded paper, with a reserve price of 2M, it has been revealed.

Sothebys are also inviting tenders from art experts, jigsaw puzzle enthusiasts and other tedious masochists to authenticate the item(s) involved.

Auction house porters have been anxious to store the sale item safely in order to prevent it accidentally being discarded with other waste, but they are already having difficulty in determining which sack is which.

Got to hand it to Banksy, though said a senior auctioneer He obviously cares abut the planet, by making his pictures totally recyclable. Wahey ker-ching!

The auction house were less impressed, however, when the un-named buyer of the original, intact picture paid the full fee in cash which then burst into flames as soon as he had been given a receipt for the money.

00:58

This womans story about ordinary situations becoming very, very scary went viral because its terrifying and a salutary lesson The Poke

Comedian Katherine Ryan was among the many, many people who shared this terrifying thread by a woman who used a horrific incident to remind men how common events for you can turn into really scary situations for women in a snap.

So heres the thread which is a salutary lesson for some and maybe a reminder for some others.

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00:45

Horror Fan Cant Wait to Binge-Watch the News This October The Hard Times

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. Self-described horror nerd Jackie Pagn will celebrate the Halloween season with a month-long news intake marathon, empathetic onlookers confirmed.

I used to watch all the classic horror series in October, Pagn explained while buying a subscription to the New York Times. Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th but a lot of this stuff just doesnt scare me like it used to. The real adrenaline rush and acute fear of death only comes now when I read the news every morning.

A life-long horror junkie, Pagn broke her specific tastes down in greater detail.

Im really into the local, indie stuff, but Im not a snob, Pagn elaborated. The national news can be just as scary. Like, I have family in Puerto Rico still struggling after Hurricane Maria the utter nightmare of living in darkness with no resources makes the entire Saw franchise look like a Pixar film.

Pagn is reportedly getting hyped for the news-binge by turning on her notifications for the Washington Post and CNN. Unfortunately, however, her DIY decor has received mixed reviews her roommates allegedly tried to remove her spooky prison industrial complex garland, and threw out her immigrant detention gingerbread camp.

Still, Pagn is determined to ring in this years traditional, macabre celebration of doom and terror through current events.

Dont even get me started on this Kavanaugh stuff, she said. Whats gonna get me in the Halloween spirit more: one slow-moving dude with a William Shatner mask and a knife, or the government telling thousands of old white guys that they can get away with rape? No contest.

Local news anchor Desiree Chafee claimed Pagn wont stop sending in fan mail after he reported on Border Patrol agent Juan David Ruiz, an alleged serial killer.

She said the story terrified her and was fucking awesome, and kept asking if we could air it again closer to Halloween, Chafee said. I wouldve considered it, if I didnt know that story would definitely get buried by at least a dozen, way more fucked-up stories probably in as many days. What a nightmare.

At press time, Pagn was scrolling through Twitter for her third consecutive hour, occasionally gasping, jumping out of her seat, and muttering, Dont click the link! Turn around, bitch get out of there!

The post Horror Fan Cant Wait to Binge-Watch the News This October appeared first on The Hard Times.

00:45

Converse Unveils Line of Pre-Duct Taped and Sharpied Shoes The Hard Times

BOSTON Iconic shoe company Converse announced today a limited-edition line of their famous All-Star sneakers, pre-duct taped together and scribbled on with Sharpie markers, sources confirmed.

Our shoe-gineers are taking a page from the distressed denim trend, and modeled this new shoe based off what they look like after a few months of wear, said Converse C.E.O. and President Davide Grasso. Even better, its saving us money in labor costs we only have to assemble half the shoe, and then tape up the rest.

Initial design attempts included commissioned, drawn-on works by famous street artists Banksy, and Greg Mike both of whom were quickly found to be either inaccessible or too expensive. Instead, the Converse design team dumped the initial 200 pairs of shoes, along with 300 Sharpies, at local skate park and let the teens go to town on them.

Other than having to erase a lot of penises, the shoes came out really great, lead designer Meghan Leandro said. They have a very real look about them from the misquoted Rancid lyrics, to the stars-of-David that were meant to be Pentagrams.

Social media is already buzzing about the shoes, thanks to photos posted by Instagram influencers Zach Williams and Emily Leigh Lee. Williams post, I feel like a Runaway Teenager! #shoegame #kicks, received 47,000 likes and over 500 comments. Meanwhile, Lee had her account banned after posting a picture of herself wearing a pair covered in crudely drawn swastikas with the comment, Such pretty windmills!

The worst part about Converse is always the two days of breaking them in, said Lee. With these new Converse, I can already slide them on and off without having to untie the laces. And the hand-drawn Ramones and 666 on the white rubber toe part look pretty authentic, so no one will know Im a poser.

The shoes, expected to be released on Black Friday, will be available at Urban Outfitters locations around the country at a retail price of $279.

The post Converse Unveils Line of Pre-Duct Taped and Sharpied Shoes appeared first on The Hard Times.

00:25

Susanna Reid was mansplained how to sit in a chair and she wasnt taking it sitting down The Poke

It began when Susanna Reid irritated a viewer by the way she was sitting on Good Morning Britain.

The presenter took the time to write back, which was where it all began to go wrong.

And a chap called Gary Seale joined in.

But it didnt end there.

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Monday, 08 October

23:19

14 times supermarket signs were so much more than they were intended to be The Poke

Shopping isnt the most thrilling activity particularly food shopping but if your local supermarket had any of these signs, that Sunday morning trawl through the shelves mightnt be such a drag.

Youll be rolling in the aisles. Right?

1. The dangerous combination

2. The loneliest aisle


via

3. Wholesome what?


via

4. The massive typo

via

5. When the signs havent caught up with the reshuffle
...

22:00

Glastonbury sells out on news that there will be face-painting NewsBiscuit

Booking lines have been inundated, with festival goers hoping to experience the once in a lifetime experience of having a sparkly butterfly drawn on their face, by someone with a GCSE in art but business degree from LSE. Fortunately Glastonbury fans have not been put off by the cost of 248 tickets, especially now that there will be a unique opportunity to see a guy with dreads, walking on stilts.

Tickets sold out in just over half an hour, as soon as the rumour broke that there might be some kind bouncy castle. Said one attendee: Normally its just boring old bands but this year theres going to be balloon animals!

About 200,000 people are due to attend the festival at Worthy Farm, making the queues for the Punch and Judy tent particularly long. Festival goers can expect be harassed by jugglers of every ethnicity, have unprotected sex with a range of mime artists and win a party bag filled with poppers, just not the fun kind.

Not only is Glastonbury the worlds largest green-field festival, it also boasts the longest game of Pass the Parcel. Yet, organiser Emily Eavis denied that the event was starting to resemble a toddlers birthday party, as the only jelly being eaten would be by Sir Paul McCartney due to problems with his dentures.

21:31

These 17 wish-list items under 20 will make you appreciate the small stuff The Poke

As it gets closer to Christmas, our thoughts might be turning to the upcoming expense, which is why it was particularly heartwarming to see the replies to this suggestion, posed by writer, Josie George.

A lot of people wanted food and drink.

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Others wanted clothes
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21:26

Strangest local newspaper front page story youre ever likely to see The Poke

Its all happening in Frome.

And yes, it really did happen. Heres the headline on the inside pages.

Frome salvage company find lifetime collection of vintage porn magazines stuffed into hidden bed compartment He has seen all manner of things but this takes some beating!

And theres more. Lots more.

Karl Horler made a rather raunchy discovery while clearing out a vacant house.

And while the man behind architectural salvage company, Frome Reclamation, has seen all manner of things in his career, this one takes some beating.

Karl was clearing out a house in Bristol when he came across a lifetime collection of porn magazines stuffed into a compartment under a double bed.

He said it looks like the owner had been stuffing the magazines some of which were in pristine condition into the secret compartment for years.

He said: I think it was a single man that had passed away and this was his collection.

Sometimes when youre doing jobs like this you have to clear a lot of rubbish out of the house. We went to move this bed and thought this is heavy.

Its a divan bed with a drawer at one end. The front was quite light but the other part was so heavy.

I took the drawer out and the owner had obviously cut a hole behind it to shove the magazines in.

We cut the bottom out and they all spilled out.

You can read the full story here.

21:06

This is a very satisfying takedown of a chap who wasnt too keen on the new Doctor Who The Poke

The overwhelming majority of people appear to have really liked Jodie Whittaker in Doctor Who on Sunday night.

Not everyones a fan, of course, but this takedown is so satisfying not because this guy didnt like it, but the way he chose to express it.

It started when Paul Cornell said this about the Whittakers first outing as the Doctor.

And it prompted this response.

Er

And this was how it ended.

Beautifully done, as highlighted by @Raphaelite_Girl on Twitter.

20:21

James OBriens takedown of a listener who was glad he was being wound up is a masterclass in debating skills The Poke

LBCs James OBrien spends much of his time on air surgically deconstructing the arguments or lack thereof of Brexit supporters. When one listener commented that he was enjoying hearing James in a wound-up state, the presenter called him and pulled apart his argument.

When Chris was pushed to defend his position, he found himself getting tied in knots, like these.

Chris: You just spend every time Brexit comes on running it down. You cant be positive.

James: Whats the positive here? Men in manufacturing jobs who left school with qualifications no higher than GCSE are the most exposed to curbs on the flow of goods after Brexit.

Chris: The positives are that well be able to make our own rules in future, well be able to run our country the way we want to run it and we will have curbs on immigration not that Im against immigration, I think its a good thing, but we need to be in control of the immigration, so that people who are in the lower end of pay scales may be able to get an improvement in their pay in the future.

James: Youve just been told that people at the lower end of the pay scale will lose their job completely and youve texted in to say youre glad. So tell me why youre glad.

Chris: Im glad that youre spending so much time talking about Brexit because I do find it quite interesting, however, youre

James: What have I been wrong about?

Chris: Its just funny to hear you get so wound up about it.

James: About people facing unemployment?

Chris: You obviously have got a real bugbear a Remainian bugbear

James, No, its not that. These people who got lied to and theyre going to lose their jobs and it winds me up that it makes you happy and I just want to understand why.

Chris: How do you know theyve been lied to?

James: Let me read you some lines and then you tell me whether or not you think it was accurate or inaccurate, so:

July 2017, the free trade agreement that we have to do with the European Union should be one of the easiest in history. Thats Liam Fox. Im wound up that he lied to you. Why are you glad he lied to you?

Chris: Why is he lying to us, James?

James: Because it hasnt been one of the easiest in human history.

Chris : But it will be.

James: Getting out of the EU can be quick and easy. The UK holds most of the...

20:00

Airport expansion: government approves additional Costa Coffee at Luton NewsBiscuit

Campaigners for and against airport expansion in south east England were delighted today when the government finally ended sixteen years of uncertainty by approving an additional branch of Costa Coffee at Luton Airport.

The decision ends years of wrangling over the future of air travel. Thank f*** thats over, said the pro-Third Runway at Heathrow campaign. Weve been waiting for this decision for so long and through so many appeal stages and with so many government delays, that if we never hear the name Heathrow again itll be too soon. A nice toffee nut latte somewhere else entirely sounds great, thanks.

Prime minister Theresa May told the Commons: Our guiding principle is how to help our air industry reflect the strength and ambition of our economy. To help British firms export their goods. To enable British families to take their summer holidays overseas.

Of course now were all as poor as pigshit since Brexit we couldnt afford to build a runway even if you lot could afford to use it. So a nice new coffee shop at Luton is pretty much all we can manage, although they wont be able to import any nice Danish pastries without paying 45% import duties, so dont get your hopes up.

Airport expansion means airport expansion, and were going to make a Brexit of it.

Labour and the Liberal Democrats supported the governments decision. Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn said: We welcome this decision and while we totally disagree with it, half of us are entirely comfortable supporting it. No, I will not be resigning. Look at my mandate. Seriously, look at it! Tim Farron for the Lib Dems said: This is a ridiculous decision by Theresa Mays Brexit government, and we can do nothing about it. Thatll teach you. His party recently agreed to scrap its support for HS2 in favour of opening two new branches of KFC in Bradford.

Meanwhile, the governments decision threatened to open up further rifts in the government with the Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson saying he regretted her negativity. Crikey chaps, who wants a scummy Danish pastry anyway when you can have some of my compadre Liam Foxs delicious innovative British jam with your top-quality British macchiato? Golly. Whiff-whaff. Jam what. Bugger Gove.

19:03

This powerful analogy is helping men to understand why women are so angry about Brett Kavanaugh (TW) The Poke

With the election of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the US Supreme Court, the world and, in particular, America has seen an unprecedented wave of anger and protest about the issues of respect and support for survivors of sexual abuse and assault, which have been brought to the fore by the controversial appointment. Author A.R. Moxon, tweeting as @JuliusGoat, has written a strong metaphorical thread to help more men understand why women have reacted this way.

Understandably, this comes with a trigger warning.
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17:44

This hilarious Fox News fail was made even better by his fellow presenters deadpan response The Poke

This is the most satisfying thing you will ever see on Fox News. A low bar, we know, but this clears it by some distance.

Its his co-presenters reaction that makes it even better.

And a few of our favourite responses online.

17:37

Kavanaugh To Get His Own TV Show About 'Lying' TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

Judge Brett Kavanaugh, the man who was cleared by a 'select panel' of any sexual wrongdoing, either in the past or in the future, has reportedly been approached to host his very own television show about lying. It's understood that Kavanaugh is th...

Judge Kavanaugh To Get His Own TV Show About 'Lying' TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

Judge Brett Kavanaugh, the man who was cleared by a 'select panel' of any sexual wrongdoing, either in the past or in the future, has reportedly been approached to host his very own television show about lying. It's understood that Kavanaugh is th...

17:32

Theres now a Doctor Who Barbie and people had questions (one in particular) The Poke

Doctor Who fans can now get hold of a special Doctor Who Barbie to celebrate Jodie Whittakers incarnation as the first female Doctor.

Barbies regeneration wasnt entirely unproblematic, however.

Lost in translation, obviously.

...

17:12

This cat reacting to seeing Donald Trump on TV is all of us The Poke

Some things just make your hackles rise people who put empty After Eight envelopes back in the box, those Facebook posts that say 95% of people wont share this, and seeing Donald Trump talking about well, anything. It seems that it isnt only humans who find that last one annoying, if this cat is anything to go by.

Twitter user @TheChickLivesOn shared the clip in a tweet.

Someone spotted it and had a believable explanation for the pets behaviour.

If that doesnt convince you, this might.

Somebody needs to get a cat into the White House.

The post This cat reacting to seeing Donald Trump on TV is all of us appeared first on The Poke.

17:09

Spare a thought for the other Brett Kavanaugh (but it turns out hes not alone and its very funny) The Poke

As controversy continues to swirl around Brett Kavanaugh, Donald Trumps Supreme Court nominee who was sworn in despite allegations of sexual assault, which he denies, spare a thought for this guy.

He is, according to his Twitter bio, Customer Guide at Goodson Clothing & Supply Co. Carolina Panthers fanatic in Louisville, Kentucky and hes getting an awful lot of grief right now about the other Brett Kavanaugh.

When he shared his pain on Twitter at least he had the consolation of knowing he wasnt alone in this sort of thing.

(via)

And not only them, it turns out.

16:46

Guess who didnt like the new Doctor Who? And wait til you see what Daily Mail readers made of Jodie Whittaker The Poke

Its reassuring to know that in an uncertain world some things remain entirely predictable. Like what the Daily Mail would make of the first woman Doctor, for instance, as Jodie Whittaker made her much-anticipated debut in BBC1s Doctor Who on Sunday night.

...

16:39

Tom Hardy Is My Favourite Actor Says Every Single Early-20s White Australian Male On Earth The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A relatively bright 22-year-old caucasian Australian has today revealed that British actor Tom Hardy has appeared in enough movies that were targeted directly at him, to confidently say that he is his favourite actor. While surprising absolutely no one with this admission, Keenan Kelly (22) makes a point of beginning his fanboy Hardy-rant []

The post Tom Hardy Is My Favourite Actor Says Every Single Early-20s White Australian Male On Earth appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

16:31

Bill Cosby Found With Two Drumsticks Shoved Up His Rectum TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

There were scenes of total panic at 'unlock' this morning, when jailed comedian, Bill Cosby, was found in his cell with a pair of drumsticks shoved up his anus. Cosby, star of 'The Cosby Show', and co-writer of the show's theme tune, 'Kiss Me', us...

16:27

These 6 post-Brexit road signs tell us exactly where were heading The Poke

One of the things bothering people in the UK is the uncertainty of where Brexit is going to take us supposedly either to the Land of Milk and Honey or to Hell in a handcart, depending on which paper you read. The very funny @HopelessSurfer has drawn up something to clarify matters this wittily worrying set of road signs for when we leave.

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Dont worry, though it looks like that bright future is out there somewhere.

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16:23

No Uncle Tony, We Cant Project Indigenous Incarceration Stats On The Opera House Says Jones The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister Uncle Tony X has today been left with a bitter taste in his mouth, after his confidante, 2GB shock jock Alan Jones refused to cooperate with his pleas to use the Sydney Opera House as a billboard to highlight the shocking overrepresentation of his mob. Come on, cuz said the []

The post No Uncle Tony, We Cant Project Indigenous Incarceration Stats On The Opera House Says Jones appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

15:35

Barefoot Recommends Keeping Savings In Buried Biccie Tin Following Banking Royal Commission The Betoota Advocate

One of the countrys last respected financial figures has finally spoken out today, with fresh advice on how to keep your money safe, following the Royal Commission into the Banking Sector. Scott Pape, the cult hero, financial advisor and author of the best selling and wildly successful Barefoot Investor has issued some interesting directions on []

The post Barefoot Recommends Keeping Savings In Buried Biccie Tin Following Banking Royal Commission appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

14:05

In Fact, Fuck Vivid Off Too Says Sydney The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The proud, culturally-minded people of the Harbour Capital have today begged their State Government and City Council to take it one further in making sure the iconic Sydney Opera House remains sacred as a treasured landmark. By that, they mean, ending the $8 million tax-payer funded exercise that is VIVID because, when []

The post In Fact, Fuck Vivid Off Too Says Sydney appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

13:55

NSW Premier Orders Opera House Bistro To Start Serving Horse Meat

operahouse

NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has ordered the management of the Sydney Opera House Bistro to add horse meat to the menu.

Her decision comes after she read shock jock Alan Jones latest cook book. Horse meat is delicious or so Alan has told me, said the Premier. And what a chance to cross promote the Everest horse race.

People can travel to Sydney bet on a horse race, then eat the losing horse the next day. Cant do that in Melbourne.

On whether Mr Jones had too much influence over her, the Premier replied: Absolutely not. Its not as though Mr Jones says jump and I say how high. Its just that sometimes I feel like jumping and Alan always seems to know when I need to jump.

Mr Jones could not be reached for cashless comment.

Mark Williamson

12:52

Wallabies Come-From-Behind Victory Proves Nothing Is Wrong At Rugby Australia The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Wallabies are back in winning form and ready to win the Rugby World Cup in Japan next year. Thats the message today from rugby unions governing body, Rugy Australia. Sunday morning local time, the boys in gold took on the Pumas at altitude in Argentina and at halftime, []

The post Wallabies Come-From-Behind Victory Proves Nothing Is Wrong At Rugby Australia appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

12:26

9-Year-Old Boy Plays One Game of Pac-Man, Then Eats Every Period on The Internet TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

AUSTIN, TX After playing one game of Pac-Man, 9-year-old boy Malcolm Rurn flew into an uncontrollable frenzy, eating every period on the internet I have Pac-Man fever! Rurn shouted I need to eat those dots before those ghost bastards get he...

12:03

Awww: Sydney Trying To Act Like They Are Above Putting Billboards On Landmarks The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Harbour City of Sydney has today tried their very best to assure the country that it has a bit of culture, stil. The largest city in the country is the focus of the latest battle in the culture wars this week, with debate raging over whether the iconic Sydney Opera House should []

The post Awww: Sydney Trying To Act Like They Are Above Putting Billboards On Landmarks appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

10:55

Convicted Sex Offenders Demand FBI Investigations TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

The clean bill of health given by the FBI to Brett Kavanaugh has opened a fresh can of worms filled with convicted sex offenders who are also demanding new four day FBI investigations to clear their collective names. Attorney General Jeff Session...

10:25

Intermittent Fasting Will Counteract Weekend Of Treating My Body Like Garbage Dump The Betoota Advocate

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact For the past 48 hours, Brittany Seldom has been stuffing her face like its her last day on earth. Having gone on a weekend getaway, Brittanys binge eating marathon began with a large bag of salt and vinegar chips, followed by two separate stops at a fast food []

The post Intermittent Fasting Will Counteract Weekend Of Treating My Body Like Garbage Dump appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

10:16

Kavanaugh hospitalized after SCOTUS hazing Stubhill News

Lightweight sissy hospitalized following Supreme Court hazing.

09:55

Hotel lighting code finally deciphered NewsBiscuit

A crack team of mathematicians at CERN has uncovered the long sought-after Universal Theory of Hotel Lighting.

Its a mathematicians dream, said Dr Ernst Jackson of the CERN Rapid Response Mathematics Squad. Solving the lights in an individual room is trivial. Even humanities graduates can usually solve it after a few attempts. What weve found is a universal law which can be applied to any combination of lights in a hotel bedroom.

The breakthrough came after one room in the Geneva Hilton was accidentally fitted with lights from the Holiday Inn next door. It was our Rosetta Stone, said Dr Jackson. The universe revealed one of its strangest secrets that day. Ah, the universe.

After a brief silence in which Dr Jackson shook his head and chuckled quietly to himself, he explained the significance of the discovery.

Well, in laymans terms, people can now find their way to bed without leaving any of the lights on. Well, people with a maths degree. Arts graduates should probably just stay at home. Seriously, stay at home. The universe is wasted on you.

The team is now working on a proof of Partridges Law, which calculates the optimal plate size to take to the hotel buffet.

09:14

UFC Championship Bout Marred By Violence The Shovel

The much anticipated UFC Championship showdown between Khabib Nurmagomedov and Conor McGregor degenerated into an ugly fight on Saturday night after their brutal bout saw Nurmagomedov retain his lightweight title.

UFC officials were horrified by behaviour of the star fighters and their respective teams and have ordered an immediate investigation into how a fight broke out at their showpiece event.
 
In a media statement released overnight, UFC President, Dana White, said UFC is a family sport and there is no place for unnecessary violence at any of our sanctioned events.
 
The outcome of the investigation is expected to be finalised after the Khabib v Conor rematch.
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 By Paul Dovas

08:18

Breaking: There Is A Dog In The School! The Betoota Advocate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Central Betoota residents are advised to be on high alert for fun times as a dog has been spotted running through the quadrangle at Betoota Primary School. The unidentified dog has reportedly caused chaos during recess time after it entered the quad through an unknown entrance and has proceeded to chase a couple []

The post Breaking: There Is A Dog In The School! appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

08:06

Democrats Look to Jesus to Win Elections TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

Democrats, sick of losing to Republicans, have launched a new political campaign strategy to take back Jesus. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, the left-wing hippies loved Jesus. With their long hair and flowing garments, they even looked like Jesus. W...

08:01

Alan Jones Bullies Opera House Into Promoting His Mates Gumtree Ad For A 2008 Landcruiser The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The gambling-sponsored state of NSW is currently undergoing fierce debates over controversial plans to use Australias most iconic piece of architectural ingenuity as a billboard for a car that one of Alan Jones old footy mates is trying to flog off before the end of the year. Tens of thousands of people are []

The post Alan Jones Bullies Opera House Into Promoting His Mates Gumtree Ad For A 2008 Landcruiser appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

07:03

Jodie Whittaker makes her Doctor Who debut our favourite 23 responses The Poke

Jodie Whittaker made her debut in Doctor Who tonight, the first woman Doctor in the BBC1 shows history (you might have read the occasional thing about that).

Its the only thing people are talking about online and here are our favourite 23 responses.

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07:00

Yale University: All Students To Have Sex Organ(s) Tattooed With ID Number TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

BILLINGSGATE POST: Deborah Ramirez, the former Yale coed who rhetorically fingered her now-famous classmates penis, as the likely organ dangled before her at a frat house party at Yale some thirty years ago, admitted that she was very intoxicated a...

06:19

Everyone loved Jodie Whittaker in Doctor Who but there was one bit everyone loved best The Poke

The reviews are in well, lots of them are and the overwhelming majority of people seemed to love Jodie Whittaker as the first female Doctor in Doctor Who.

This one pretty much nails it.

But there was one bit of Sunday nights first episode that everyone seemed to love more than anything else, and these tweets tell the story.

03:57

Dr. Emil Skoda: Senator Mitch McConnell Believes Every Group That Aren't White Males Are a Mob TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

NEW YORK, NY Dr. Emil Skoda, a psychiatrist who works with the New York Police Department, claimed that Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) suffers from delusion disorder. In a nutshell, Senator McConnell believes that every congregation of people t...

02:52

FEMA REQUESTS ACCESS TO MOAB BOMBS Someones Bones

Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) Director Brock Long has submitted a presidential request form that would grant the agency access to the militarys most powerful conventional bomb, the GBU-43/B massive ordinance air blast weapon. Developed by Albert L. Weimorts, Jr. of the Air Force Research Laboratory, the MOAB was first dropped in a 2017 airstrike against an Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) tunnel complex in Afghanistan. The weapon contains 18,700 pounds of explosive material; its size and weight necessitate large aircraft, such as a C-130, as deployment vehicles. Although not a traditional bunker buster, blast overpressure from the explosion can damage poorly reinforced underground shelters and generate a massive blast wave said to stretch a mile in every direction.

On October 2, Brock Long penned a two-page request letter to President Donald Trump. A confidential FEMA source said the correspondence underpinned FEMAs need for powerful weapons to combat growing threats to the agencys overall agenda. The document allegedly highlighted subversives, preppers, survivalists, and patriots as overwhelming threats to FEMAs mission. The implication is that FEMA wishes to drop the horrific weapon on large concentrations of law-abiding Americans.

First, I dont know if Trump received the letter. I only now that Brock wrote and forward the letter up the chain of command, which means he sent it to DHS Secretary Kristjen Nielson, who would then have to get it to Trump. Brock said domestic terrorists like pro-2nd Amendment advocates are a danger to democracy, and that FEMA needs more manpower and access to military-grade weapons to combat threats from within. I cant imagine a MOAB in our hands, our source said.

He added that the FEMA hierarchy meets routi...

02:45

Small Closed Casket Ceremony Held For Kavanaugh Confirmation Daily Discord

WashingtonJudge Brett Kavanaugh was sworn into the U.S. Supreme Court today by a narrow 50-48 Senate vote. Kavanaugh becomes the countrys 114th Supreme Court justice, but only the 2nd known sex offender to sit on the highest court in the land. President Trump now has two successful supreme court appointments. Las Vegas had +115 odds for Kavanaughs confirmation. He therefore

02:21

PC Master Race Gamer Horrified After 23andMe Shows Hes 1/5th Console Gamer The Hard Times

TOLEDO, Ohio Local gamer Clint Lowe recently discovered through the 23andMe genealogy service that he has approximately 20% console gamer ancestry, flying in the face of his long-held PC Master Race beliefs, according to sources close to him.

Lowe, known for being the founder and sole administrator of the now-private Facebook group CTRL+ALT+RIGHT, was first inspired to send away to the genetic testing site after the birth of his daughter, said his wife Charlotte.

Clint was adopted when he was a baby, so he figured this would be the only way to tell her where she came from, Charlotte Lowe explained. He was so shocked to discover that hes part joystick juggler. Hes been wandering around the house, muttering bullshit about draw distances or something. Ive never seen him this broken.

In addition to family members, coworkers of Lowes have also reportedly noticed a difference in his demeanor as of late.

Yesterday at lunch, someone asked if they should get Assassins Creed Odyssey for PlayStation or Xbox, said Trevor Fleming, a fellow employee at the deli Lowe works at. And Clint answered him respectfully. The Clint I know would have smugly jumped in with you should just buy it for PC, as if that had been one of the listed options.

Meanwhile, members of CTRL+ALT+RIGHT have attempted to distance themselves from Lowe.

You know, I thought it was weird how he would always try to justify owning an Xbox, said Gwen Charles, who has been a member of the group for years. Made by Microsoft so its basically a computer my ass! I shoulda known he was a damn couch monkey!

Lowes mother addressed the issue in a blog post that has gone viral.

Ive always lived my life as a proud, confident Sega-American, just like my mother, the statement read. She didnt survive the Console Wars just so her grandson could act like this. I didnt raise him this way.

When asked for a statement, Gerald Lowe, Clints adoptive father, said, We must secure the existence of our battlestations and a future for PC domination. Heil Hardware!

The post PC Master Race Gamer Horrified After 23andMe Shows Hes 1/5th Console Gamer appeared first on The Hard Times.

01:10

Morons continue to revitalize faith TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

Morons, who once preferred this nickname to the official Ladder Day Saints designation of their faith, no longer call their famous choir the Moron Tabernacle Choir. It's now simply The Choir, because, prophet Warren Jeffs explained from his prison...

00:45

Rehearsal Attended by Angry Neighbors, Police Qualifies as Most Successful Show of Tour The Hard Times

VALPARAISO, Ind. Local punk band Panama Root Canal enjoyed a record turnout last night for the Cleveland stop of their Midwest tour when their impromptu rehearsal was inundated by law enforcement and irate neighbors, sources confirmed.

We had a couple days off between Cincinnati and Detroit, said frontman Shiv McDonald. So my cousin Spider said we could crash at his place in Cleveland and tighten up our set a little.

The band reportedly began practicing in the open garage at 11:22 p.m., with permission from tenant Spencer Spider Evans and nobody else whatsoever.

As soon as we hit the first note of our song Enough Lies, people started coming out of the woodwork, McDonald claimed. Its unreleased, so I dont know how they knew it, but the whole crowd was chanting, Enough! Enough! They were loving it! I gotta say, they were kinda old and didnt really look like punks, but I guess theyre just the O.G.s of the Cleveland scene. It means a lot that they came out.

Bystanders report the burgeoning crowd was initially only Evans neighbors pleading for a swift end to the performance. As their demands went unmet, however, they were ultimately joined by several members of the Cleveland Police.

So, we get a noise complaint around midnight, said Officer David OHanley. We find the perps making a god-awful racket in a garage at the scene. Usually these idiots just scatter when they see the cops coming, which makes my job easier but not these guys. The jackass lead singer tries to hand me the mic and yells, You sing the next verse! The only lyrics I understood was something about roasting all the pigs. Im not joining in that.

While the unfinished garage quickly reached capacity, the crowd allegedly only grew, with the audience reaching critical mass as Evans landlord, two city exterminators, and a pack of wild dogs arrived around 2:00 a.m.

If you count the girl passed out in the bushes, the Dominos delivery guy who showed up on accident, and that body we found in the corner, we had at least two, maybe three dozen fans, said McDonald. Were like the friggin Beatles or something! We cant thank everyone enough for all their support.

The post Rehearsal Attended by Angry Neighbors, Police Qualifies as Most Successful Show of Tour appeared first on The Hard Times.

00:37

This wonderful thread by the Museum of English Rural Life went viral and you wont be disappointed The Poke

The wonderful Museum of English Rural Life went viral today with this fascinating thread about a box of 18th century diaries it found in Kent.

Loads of people have been retweeting it and, well, have a read for yourself. You wont be disappointed.

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Sunday, 07 October

22:00

Farage to lobby for a Shetland-style solution for other parts of the UK NewsBiscuit

Following a ruling in the Scottish Parliament stating The Shetland Islands can no longer be depicted on maps and charts inside a convenient box but in the the wrong geographical location, Nigel Farage, has decided to run with the concept and is demanding other changes to UK maps be brought in also.

Speaking to reporters he said: There are some places in Britain, and we all know where they are and just who were talking about here, where the population living there is almost exclusively foreign.

Well I have started a petition lobbying to have these areas removed from our UK maps. I say they should be struck from all future new charts and attached instead to the actual countries were the people who live in these areas come from in the first place.

And one Daily Mail reader, East End Costermonger Darryn Shyte, a lifelong moron, racist and brain-dead xenophobe completely agrees. God I love Nigel Farage and oh how I wish he was running Brexit for us. Hed sort out them lot of bloody foreigners in Europe no bother at all. This map idea hes got is bang-on but Id take it one step further. Id remove Scotland and Wales from Englands map too!

20:31

Dare you gaze upon these ghoulishly repurposed ceramic dolls? The Poke

Edinburgh based artist Jessica Harrison sources tacky ceramic dolls and uses her talent and skill to transform them into miniature macabre masterpieces.

 

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The post Dare you gaze upon these ghoulishly repurposed ceramic dolls? appeared first on The Poke.

17:17

Judge Kavanaugh Set To Quash Bill Cosby Conviction TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

To celebrate his 'victory' in the Sexual Misconduct hearing against him, Judge Brett Kavanaugh has indicated that, as an act of goodwill, he intends to quash the guilty conviction against jailed comedian Bill Cosby, and set the funnyman free. Kava...

Judge Kavanaugh Set To Quosh Bill Cosby Conviction TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

To celebrate his 'victory' in the Sexual Misconduct hearing against him, Judge Brett Kavanaugh has indicated that, as an act of goodwill, he intends to quosh the guilty conviction against jailed comedian Bill Cosby, and set the funnyman free. Kava...

16:01

Vintage Auto Wanted For Arson In Fatal California Wildfire TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

A vintage red-and-white Plymouth Fury with Maine license plates is responsible, authorities say, for setting fire to the Sierra National Forest near Yosemite National Park. The vehicle, which has been traced to Arnold Arnie Cunningham, was damag...

14:59

Proud Boomer Winds Wall Clock Forward Manually Just Like He Did In The Good Old Days The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In less developed parts of the nation, clocks went forward an hour for daylight savings overnight and one South Australian sexagenarian proudly let younger members of his family know about it. Gavin Rutledge, of nearby Innaminka, told his grandsons that this morning he had to get the ladder out []

The post Proud Boomer Winds Wall Clock Forward Manually Just Like He Did In The Good Old Days appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

14:10

Uncle Tony X Reckons Choc Could Take Both Of Them The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister Uncle Tony X has today made the bold claim that neither Conor McGregor or Khabib Nurmagomedov would be able to last more than a couple rounds with his deadly brother Anthony Choc Mundine. This comes as MMA megastar McGregor makes a return after a near-two year absence as he takes []

The post Uncle Tony X Reckons Choc Could Take Both Of Them appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

12:16

JB HiFi Display Televisions Spoil Plot Twist In Relatively Recent Movie The Betoota Advocate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Despite being above average intelligence, local man William Robson (34) doesnt mind the odd superhero film which is why he is annoyed that JB HiFi was playing Black Panther on display TVs even though it only came out about a year ago. Although he has a computer capable of purchasing items []

The post JB HiFi Display Televisions Spoil Plot Twist In Relatively Recent Movie appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

11:46

Im A Vegetarian States Morrison Halfway Through A Chicken Parma The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Against Rupert Murdochs better judgement, the public is learning more about Prime Minister Scott Morrison who recently stated he is a vegetarian while enjoying a chicken parmigiana at Cronulla RSL Memorial Club. Having dinner with his family at the Sutherland Shire club, Morrison invited the press along so they could get to know []

The post Im A Vegetarian States Morrison Halfway Through A Chicken Parma appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

11:39

TV Drama 'Life Of The Tiger Lady' Is "Absolutely Fucking Shite", Claims Man TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

A TV drama broadcast in Thailand, but beamed into homes in other Asian locations, is "absolutely fucking shite" according to one man who viewed it in Cambodia. 'Life Of The Tiger Lady' is typical of other Thai TV drama shows, which show a complete...

11:27

Algorithms Are 'Toying' With Us TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

A man has told of his fears about internet algorithms after he kept being bothered by advertisements that had been sent to his internet pages. Some of the adverts were 'associated' with subjects he had been reading about, but others were sent for...

11:23

Non-Gay Fashion Photographer A Creep By Default The Betoota Advocate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Fashion photographer Ian Brettoner (32) may have travelled the world for his craft, but no matter which corner of the globe he visits he is unable to shake the creepy vibe he exudes simply by being a straight fashion photographer. With an Instagram following of over 400 thousand and a portfolio that includes []

The post Non-Gay Fashion Photographer A Creep By Default appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

11:04

Uncultured Man Drinks Cocktail With Full Grip The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local man has today worked up the courage to order his first ever cocktail at a trendy bar in Betootas meat packing district. According to Jack Scales (29) the menu may as well have been in Japanese, with none of the cocktail names meaning anything to him at all. After staring at []

The post Uncultured Man Drinks Cocktail With Full Grip appeared first on The Betoota Advocate.

09:55

Police to recruit convicted villians in bid to boost diversity NewsBiscuit

Chief Constables throughout England Wales are to launch a recruitment drive in the nations prisons in a bid to boost the diversity of their forces following a relaxation of Home Office guidelines. The move comes after a successful pilot project by Lincolnshire Constabulary which saw the removal of a bar to recruiting individuals with visible tattoos so that their officers more closely resembled the population of the county as a whole

A Home Office spokesman said: When we considered what a large proportion of the nation is now banged up it did seem rather odd that so few members of the criminal fraternity were represented in the police. Of course there are some people we dont need for example Dangerous Drivers, Paedos and GBH merchants since have some of those already and taking on more wouldnt increase diversity.

My own personal preference would be for a few fine art thieves and embezzlers something to raise the tone! Others favour multi tasking criminals like bodging builders who handle stolen goods as well. However, its a competitive process and well just have to see what turns up.

In answer to questions about the possibility of inmates exaggerating their criminality in order to get a job and out of prison the spokesman insisted that sufficient safeguards were in place.

Im not going to give away operational details but when we carried out a similar project with social minorities some years ago we soon identified the fraudsters. One gentleman thought he had been very clever getting a job as a chief inspector but our surveillance team was able to provide video evidence that he in fact had both of his legs and the kind of company he kept suggested that he was far from being a lesbian not much gets past us oh no!.

Meanwhile a spokesperson for the Lincolnshire force expressed pride that they had been able to blaze a trail which was now being taken up nationwide.

The idea is to enable members of the public we wouldnt normally interact with feel easy in the company of our officers she said. However, officers still have to project a professional image and only those with the most tasteful tattoos will be accepted. Thats why we recommend you use Daves on the Broadway like I do. Would you like to see what he drew on my arse?

08:18

Xenu Disappointed That His Arch-Enemy on Earth is the Cult of Scientology TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

THE MOON The extraterrestrial being known as Xenu expressed his rage and embarrassment that his primary opponent on Earth is the Cult of Scientology. Damn it all to Hell! Xenu shouted, flailing tentacles in every direction. What the Hell happ...

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Saturday, 06 October

22:51

Bill Cosby Sweater Sale To Be Held To Fund His Coke Habit TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

In what's been called by some, "despicable", the family of jailed sex offender, Bill Cosby, are to be allowed to send vast amounts of money to the former comedian, so that he can fund his Coke habit. The cash is to be raised by selling off his la...

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Tuesday, 11 September

03:10

Amazon to offer employees adult diapers at cost TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

In response to ongoing bad publicity showing Amazon fulfillment center employees urinating in trash cans to avoid bathroom breaks that hurt production numbers, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has offered employees adult diapers at cost.  The announcement came...

01:38

Saudi Arabian Tourist Board Invites Hen Parties TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman wants a new, open Saudi Arabia with concerts, cinemas and beaches and a 2030 vision or so he says. It is with this view that the Saudi Arabian Tourist Board is encouraging western brides-to-be to visit the de...

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Monday, 10 September

05:00

Are You Ready For Some Dumb Football Commercials? TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

Its that time of year again in America, football season. And football season means one thing, a barrage of stupid commercials that make people want to gouge their eyes out, cut off their ears, and smash their TVs. Corporate marketers say they hav...

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Sunday, 09 September

23:52

Dumb MFer Gets Ripped Off Buying Used Hyundai TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

A local moron just got ripped off buying a used Hyundai Sonata. "I bought the bumper-to-bumper warranty, which added like $3,000 to the price of this cheap piece of shit," the dumb motherfucker from Carson Township said. But the bumper-to-bump...

06:39

Trump initiates lie detector testing plus water treatment in White House basement TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

President Trump is aware that previous presidents, as with Mr. Obama, have used lie detector testing on staff. The President has also been in contact with newly appointed head of the CIA, Gina Haspel, on water boarding, as needed, in search of the...

Saturday, 08 September

22:57

Trump admits he may be Lodestar author TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

After taking a lie detector test, which was both conclusive and inconclusive, he wasn't sure which, Donald Trump has confirmed he may be the author of the article published by the New York Times revealing resistance to his own tendency to do, say and...

19:53

Man Carries Out Comparison Study Of Airport Toilet Facilities TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

A man travelling by air from Phnom Penh in Cambodia via Hong Kong to Manchester in England, has told how he carried out a comparison study of the toilet facilities in each of the three international airports. First, Moys Kenwood, 55, cast his eyes...

14:28

Self-Driving Car Hits Moonwalking Pedestrian TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

A self-driving car has reportedly struck a moon-walking pedestrian this morning in San Francisco. Speaking on behalf of Testa Motors, Noel Skum stated that the computers in current self-driving cars have difficulty determining the direction of tr...

12:04

Family and Community Express Concern Over Man's Lack Of Drinking TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Front Page

Minnesota. Two years ago, Thomas Steiner made the life-changing decision to quit drinking and to get completely away from alcohol. After years of making poor choices, feeling sick all the time, having numerous health problems, and experiencing the...

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